


You Don't Call Me Firecrotch For Nothin

by packa9inch



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mickeys sore, Romantic Mickey, Valentine's Day, he's embarrassed, smut but not really smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-09-30 20:03:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10170776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/packa9inch/pseuds/packa9inch
Summary: Mickey doesn't do Valentine's Day, but he isn't about to pass up a night alone with Ian. Everyone at the alibi knew what kind of night Mickey had too just by his walk (or waddle)





	

**Author's Note:**

> smut isn't really my thing so it's not graphic, and this isn't serious like my last fic but I thought it was funny so hopefully you like it too!

Mickey didn't do Valentine's Day. This was the first year in... ever, that he'd actually had someone to spend it with, but he still wasnt going to break his tradition of not giving a shit about the stupid holiday, no matter what Ian wanted to do. 

"Come on Mick why can't we just go out somewhere?"

"And be crowded by all the other faggy couples wanting to go out on Valentine's Day? Ya no thanks." 

"How about dinner?"

"If you wanna heat up some pizza rolls knock yourself out man" 

"I meant out to dinner asshole"

"Not a chance" 

"Romantic walk in the park?" Ian had a shit eating grin on his face and even Mickey couldn't hide his smile 

"Fuck off" 

"Fine we don't have to go out today, But you better plan on staying in tonight" 

Ian's eyes caught Mickeys and they both had smirks on their faces. Mickey looked Ian up and down before answering 

"Ok Gallagher, whatcha got in mind huh?" 

"You'll see, but you better take me to dinner next week to make up for this tho"

Mickey knew Ian wasn't going to drop the dinner thing, but he didn't care cause he secretly wanted to go to sizzlers, and eat with utensils and shit. But he'd never admit it. 

"Already planning on it asswipe." 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

After having to literally kick Mandy and Iggy out for the night, Mickey emptied out the Milkovich house for him and Ian, but it wasn't that easy.

"Aye this is our house too in case you forgot dickhead!"  
Iggy obviously wasn't going to give up the house without some kind of fight,

"Yeah? Well not tonight, it'll be your house again tomorrow" 

"The fuck does that even mean? I ain't leavin till you give me an explanation" 

"Iggy don't be a dumbass, it's Valentine's Day. You think him and his boyfriend staying in, not having plans is a coincidence? Figure it out." Mandy rolled her eyes so far they hit the back of her head. She was obviously the smarter of the two. 

She wasn't mad about giving the house up to her brother for the night, she had plans of her own so she didn't care, but Iggy on the other hand...

"Not like you guys don't fuck all the time when we're in the house anyways so why the fuck is Valentine's Day so damn special? Since when do you even celebrate that shit, just cause your gay now doesn't mean you gotta be gay enough for fucking Valentine's Day" 

Mickey was trying to find a nicer way to say that he wanted Ian to fuck him in every room of the house in every way possible without it coming off weird, but he couldn't think of anything

"The fucks it to you? You can come back tomorrow morning asshole stop getting your panties in a bunch" 

"Fine, hope you don't choke on Ian's dick" 

"Ya I'll try not to"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Ian stopped by the alibi before going home, got a few drinks for the night and talked to Kev, Vee and the regulars like he usually does. 

"Any big plans tonight?" 

"Nah, Mickey doesn't do Valentine's Day" 

"Oh come on that's bullshit. Stayin in, buying drinks. Obviously Mickey is doing something tonight" Vee could see right through him

"Ok so its Mickey doing the something tonight. Or the other way around...?" Kev eyed Ian to see reaction to the question, but he just glared at him. They never missed a chance to try and figure out who topped and who bottomed.

"I still got a 20$ on Mickey being the bottom. He tries to act tough but we know the guys bullshit" Tommy said as he took the last sip of his beer. 

Ian just flipped them all off as he left to get back to the house. 

~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Ian went into the house expecting to see Mickey on the couch smoking a cigarette as usual, but when opened the door, all the lights were off and a couple of old candles were spread across the house. Not many, but Ian didn't care how many fucking candles there were, he knew Mickey never did Valentine's Day, so even one candle would have been enough. 

"Thought you didn't do Valentine's Day?" 

"Yeah well, fuck it" 

He was going to apologize for the shitty display of romance he tried to go for, but he knew he didn't need to. It meant a lot to Ian and Mickey knew it, just by the look on his face. 

It only took about 3 seconds before Ian dropped all of his stuff on the ground and jumped on Mickey. They fucked on the couch, the living room floor, the kitchen floor, the couch again, the kitchen table, even the back porch but neither of them could explain how or why that happened. They couldn't tell you what time they actually went to sleep either, but they woke up wrapped in each other's arms like usual. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Mickey got up to start his shift at the alibi, he pecked Ian's cheek before he left, but as he was walking away he heard Ian laughing. 

"Whats so funny?"

"Guess you don't call me firecrotch for nothin" Ian's lips were practically spread across his whole face at the sight of Mickey 

"The fuck are you talking about?"

"Mick, you're waddling" 

Mickey knew he was sore but didn't think he was fucking waddling. No fucking way. He had to be at work so he wasn't going to let Ian make him late with this waddling shit. 

"You're bullshit man you're so full of yourself, I don't have time for this I gotta go to work."  
Ian watched him waddle to the door and was trying to hold in his laugh so hard he couldn't breathe. 

Mickey was almost at the alibi when he started to come out of denial. His legs did feel weird, maybe he was waddling? No fuck that, he can walk straight if he just tried harder. He stood up as straight as he could and walked into the bar. He got nervous when he walked in and felt everyone's eyes on him, all he could think was "fuck fuck fuck they can tell. Stop fucking waddling. You are not waddling." 

He sat down on one of the hard, old, uncomfortable chairs that would probably hurt someone who didn't take it up the ass for 6 consecutive hours the night before. He winced so hard he made a noise, and everyone heard it. "Fuck" was his next thought. 

Kev, Vee and Tommy were all staring at him with wide surprised eyes, Mickey tried to avoid them but they were practically all gawking at him he couldn't ignore it anymore. 

"The fuck you lookin at?"

"Looks like you had a good Valentine's Day" Kev had a smile on his face that annoyed the hell out of Mickey. 

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about."

"I think your ass knows what the fuck I'm talking about"

"I have fucking back pain assholes" Mickey didn't even know if that made sense but he needed to come up with something, but it didn't seem to work.

They all ignored Mickeys shitty attempt at an excuse, Tommy looked up at Vee and reminded her of the bet they had.  
"I believe you owe me 20$" 

Mickey glared at them and raised his eyebrows so far they were practically in the middle of his forehead. Before he tried to come up with another excuse, Kev cut him off before he could get a word out. 

"Ohhhh, I finally get why you call him firecrotch!" 

"Ok you can all go fuck yourselves"

Mickey had enough and waddled out of the alibi, flipping them off when he heard them laugh again.


End file.
